Tuesday, December 15, 2009

...One step back.

164.8 today. Why are you up, you ask? Several reasons.

First, my mother is in town. Love her to pieces? Yes, I do. Does having your mother by your side all the time complicate things? Certainly, it does. It's also a very busy and stressful time of year, which doesn't help.

I binged last night on ginger snap cookies. I binged because it's stressful to be with my mom 24/7, even though it all seems great on the surface. I just need some time alone, and last night when I got home she had gone to bed and I felt like "Ooh, yay I have some 'me' time." Unfortunately I followed some old patterns and I ate. Not cool, yes, I know. I haven't binged in weeks, and am feeling just awful (physically) today. Due to crazy schedule stuff, I haven't been to an OA meeting in 2 weeks, and feel a little removed from the healing. As I write this, this is probably the time in which I need OA the most, so I will make a point to try to at least get to a phone meeting tonight or tomorrow.

Am doing well food-wise today, because 1) I forgave myself for last night 2) because I want to feel better physically. I can't believe that I used to binge, and then have this awful, bloated feeling all the time. I really did that, you know. It was out of control.

Friday, December 11, 2009

1st Big Milestone!

163.3 today.

Do you know what that means? It means I've officially lost 11lbs since this blog began, and 15lbs since I was at my highest weight.

I lost those 15lbs over a period of approximately 12 weeks, which is an average of slightly over 1lb per week. It's the slowest weight loss I've ever accomplished, and it's been done by examining *why* I eat instead of *what* I eat.

It has not been easy, but so far the rewards have been great. I'm grateful to OA, and to God, for getting me to some early notion of inner peace that I never thought I would see again. I am still a novice at the program, but am learning.

Size 12 pants fit beautifully, size 14s have been put out to pasture, and generally I feel pretty good. Here's to slow, steady, imperfect progress!

Next up: let's get to 160.