Deceit

I was just looking back through my previous posts, and realized that on many (most?) days, I "sneak" some food that isn't on plan. This reminds me that I am still addicted, though nowhere nearly as out of control as I have been for the last year.

On the whole, I am taking much better care of myself and feel much better now that I've reigned in the madness of a nightly pint of ice cream, but there is hard work to come to terms with this ability to deceive myself. My brain says: "Meh, it's just a little (candy), (handful of fries),(bite of ice cream), etc." and then I'm off to the races: I cannot stop at just one.

If you knew me in real life, you might have no idea that I am addicted. I really look great on paper and can function quite well in the world, but inside I'm a (recovering) mess.

Lessons learned:

• Restaurants are not a good place for me right now
• A Daily Food Plan is essential
• Attending meetings is very important

And

• I can't do this alone. I really can't. I've tried for years and failed. My failure is not a moral flaw. This is a real addiction.