Internets, you're going to track my weight loss and recovery pound by long, sloo-ow pound.
In any case, I'm very happy to have officially gotten under 170 for the first time in over one year. I still can't believe I ever weighed that much. My life was out of control.
I attended a phone meeting yesterday, which was wonderful. I'm starting to share at these meetings pretty freely, as if I'm a seasoned regular. I even shared my phone number with this group of virtual strangers. Very odd, but liberating in a weird, thrilling way.
The scale is reflecting some of the inner changes I'm experiencing, like this amazing moment from yesterday:
Last night my boys had some friends over for a play date at our home. We were supposed to meet a a local park, but it got cold and windy during the day and our home was the closest logical alternative. I mention this seemingly mundane logistical detail because it's important to note that I am generally not brave enough to manage a playdate in my home, because I don't handle kid-chaos in stride. It's one of my binge-eating triggers.
But last night, as the children were exploding in cacophony, some of them crying and others screaming happily amongst the toy-strewn mess at my feet, I remained calm and happy. Calm and happy! Even when one of my children was striving for an Olympic medal in the four year-old sport of Friend-Hitting. I just looked around the living room and laughed, because the chaos was so unbelievable. I even went so far as to hug one of the other moms because I was so filled with love at that moment. "Can you believe this is our life?", I asked, laughing.
It was the single most life-affirming moment I have had in years.
Was that really me? If so, it was a glimmer of light on the hope-horizon. I might be getting better.
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